


Poetry Class: Haikus

by TheCrazyMasterless



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 5-7-5 English Haiku, Haiku, Poetry class, Story Told In Poems, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 18:59:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7476027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrazyMasterless/pseuds/TheCrazyMasterless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux, Rose, Karkat, and Vriska decide to take a poetry class together. Today, they are learning how to craft 5-7-5 syllable English haikus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poetry Class: Haikus

They’ve all been 2iitiing  
2tariing and not wriitiing 2hiit  
All quiiet for once  
  
A tenebrous gaze  
Rends borders of the clement  
Be judged or ascend  
  
Uh, this is stupid  
I’ll do 8 sylla8les instead  
Cause I’m a re8el ::::)  
  
MY RUBY EYED HEART  
WHY ARE YOU SNIFFING SEWAGE?  
I MEAN, DAVE STRIDER  
  
KK iii2 riippiing  
Up hii2 paper and cryiing  
Teariing and teariing 8|  
  
Saucer for the cats  
Saucy ladies for the dance  
Sauced mom for parent  
  
Karkat is so88ing  
Well, we all knew it would happen  
Sooner than I thought  
  
OKAY, HE WEARS RED  
BUT I BET IT SMELLS JUST LIKE  
SCABS ON CRUSTY ASS  
  
Now he ii2 growliing  
KK better be grateful  
Other 2hiit two do.  
  
Vriska, stop reading  
Over my shoulder, snorting  
Still needs... polishing  
  
Ha! Even Rose knows  
This is fucking em8arrassing  
Karkat’s m8de it worse.  
  
SPIDERTROLL, DO YOU  
EVEN HAVE ANY FEELINGS?  
SHOW UP OR SHUT UP  
  
Plea2e, make thii2 le22 dull  
Can’t beliieve II’m countiing on  
Vrii2ka 2erket. Help.  
  
Oh, what could we See,  
In her mysterious mind?  
My guess is cobwebs  
  
You are so rugged  
Let’s plunder a museum, kay?  
Nic, you are so hot ::::D  
  
HAHAHAHAHA  
YOUR FEELINGS ARE DUMB, YOU LOSE  
SHIT, TEACHER’S COMING  
  
VK’2 iin trouble  
The only iintere2tiing  
One iin thii2 dumb cla22  
  
I won’t throw poems  
Across the room to converse  
Private irony  
  
R8se is l88king smug  
I was still writing p8etry  
Can’t pr8ve I did it ::::)  
  
THERE IS NO WAY SHE  
WROTE A POEM ON MY SHIRT  
AND NONE OF YOU SAW  
  
II thiink he thiink2 that  
We knew 2he was wriitiing on  
Hii2 back from the 2tart  
  
Vile slanderer!  
Never I’d give synonyms  
For bumbling loud-mouth  
  
G8dd8mnit, c8n’t see  
What Rose is writing over there.  
8ut Karkat looks sad.  
  
YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES  
ALL YOUR HANDWRITING’S SCRIBBLING  
GLAD I HAVE NO FRIENDS  
  
2orry that wa2 mean  
IIt wa2 VK’2 iidea  
2orry, you wriiggler  
  
I apologize  
Suppose the best recompense  
Would be seppuku  
  
Geez, it w8s a _j8ke_  
It w8s nicer th8n wh8t I’d say  
A8out the others ::::)  
  
GO AWAY, VRISKA  
STOP THROWING POEMS AT ME  
NOBODY LIKES YOU  
  
Ugh, he’2 all 2ad now  
“Teacher, II need two go two  
The load gaper now.”  
  
Where’d he really go?  
I only feel satisfied  
Am I a monster?  
  
S8llux left, R8se is  
Angsting in her angsty note8ook  
She’s so tormented :’:’:’:’(  
  
STOP THROWING GARBAGE!  
YOU WERE MOVED FOR A REASON  
THOUGH THAT WAS SPOT ON  
  
(They’re mocking me now  
I’m aware I can’t complain  
To child soldiers)  
  
Flower with closed mouth  
Smirks like she knows eeeeeeeeveeeeeeeeryyyyyyyything  
Just talks out her ass  
  
HA! YOU KNOW HER SOUL  
YOU ARE NOW GROUP THERAPIST  
I DECLARE IT SO  
  
Here KK, 2orry  
Junk food two 2ooth your anguii2h  
Giive me half of Twiix  
  
Mustn’t let them know  
This must be a stealth mission  
I crave Doritos  
  
What? Karkat got snacks?  
_He_ ’ _s sh8ring with th8se 8oring d8rks_!?!?!?!?  
Ow! Mars 8ar to face.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you were curious, the poem on Karkat's shirt that was totally 800% Vriska's fault was:
> 
> What a roaring oaf  
> Well, at least he tries, I guess????????  
> Still can’t code for shit.


End file.
